Because of differences in perception, autistic people may have some differences in how they feel things and experience emotions:

Emotions - Autistic people can feel emotions just like neurotypical people, but they may express their emotions in different ways. For example, they may use different facial expressions or body language than a neurotypical person. They also may feel their emotions more strongly or completely, or not be able to name or identify the emotion they are feeling (alexithymia).

Empathy - Again, even though autistic people might not show empathy in the same way, they definitely feel empathy! Many autistic people actually feel too much empathy and can’t turn it off (hyper-empathy).

Anxiety - Unfortunately, many autistic people also feel a lot of anxiety, again due to how society views and treats autistics and the barriers they face in their environment. Many things can cause them to feel anxious, even if it is something you don’t think is a big deal. It’s important to support them when they are feeling anxious!

Meltdowns & Shutdowns - These happen when an autistic person can’t control their feelings and when they get too stressed, but they don’t happen on purpose. They aren’t the same as tantrums, and autistic people can’t control when they happen. Meltdowns may involve crying, screaming, losing control of their body, or running away. On the other hand, shutdowns cause the autistic person not be able to do anything. These feel very scary to the autistic person.

Self-Regulation – When autistic people are feeling an emotion or sensation, they may have difficulty modulating how they feel because they often feel so strongly.

Autistic people have some different ways of communicating they may use, that may be misinterpreted by neurotypical people.

Speech & Language - One way that some autistic people communicate is through speaking, just like anyone else. However, they may use language differently than neurotypical people, and are more likely to also present with speech and language disorders. It is important to remember that there are other ways to communicate besides speaking, too, and they should all be listened to.

Echolalia – Echolalia is repeating what you have heard, either immediately or delayed. Autistic people use echolalia to communicate, especially when they are unable to make their own sentences. This is often dismissed as non-communicative, but it’s important to listen to it to figure out what your child may be saying.

Scripting – Scripting is simply preparing what you are going to say ahead of time. Everyone scripts sometimes, but autistic people tend to do it more often and have longer scripts.

Non-speech communication - Speaking can be difficult for some autistic individuals. They don’t always have good control over their bodies and muscles, and speaking takes a lot of fine motor control. Some people may be able to speak sometimes, but not other times. These people can communicate in other ways besides speech. Most of these individuals prefer to be called “non-speaking” rather than “non-verbal”, which implies they don’t use or understand language.

Behavior – If an individual does not know how to express what they are feeling, or cannot express it at that time, they may act in certain ways. You need to learn how to interpret your child’s behavior to try to understand what they are communicating.

Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) - AAC is a way that non-speaking people, or people who have difficulty speaking sometimes, can communicate. There are many forms of AAC, and they are all valid.

Rather than expecting autistics to change or mask their social skills to fit in with allistics, allistics should take the perspective of autistic people and learn about their social skills as well. Here are some autistic social skills that you may see:

Infodumping – This is a form of monologuing in which the autistic person speaks at length about a topic. This is a way that autistic people relate to each other rather than exchanging small talk. Often autistic people will take turns Infodumping at each other, demonstrating longer conversational turns than the short ones that allistics are used to.

Empathy – When an allistic person is sharing something about themselves, such as a problem they are having, autistic people often will reply by sharing their own related story. Allistics may perceive autistics to be self-centered when doing this, but really it the autistic’s way to show they relate to and understand what you are saying. Conversely, when an allistic person is having a problem, rather than acting empathetically in the allistic way, an autistic person may instead work to solve whatever problem they are having.

Literal, Direct, & Honest – Unlike allistics, autistic people tend to say what they are thinking and what they mean. Allistic people may see this as rude, whereas autistics may see allistic communication as confusing.

Parallel Play – Autistic people may prefer to have social time with others by engaging in their own interests in the same vicinity as them. They may not want to play in the same way that neurotypical children play with each other, and this is okay!

Sensory differences are one of the biggest differences experienced by a lot of autistic people:

Hyposensitivity and hypersensitivity - Many autistic people have senses that are weaker or stronger than what neurotypical people experience. This is what causes autistic people to actually experience the world differently.

These differences not only can affect the 5 sensory systems that most people are familiar with (vision, touch, hearing, smell, and taste), but also the vestibular sense, proprioceptive sense, and interoceptive sense.

These sensory differences can vary within the person by sense, by situation, or by the day.

Sensory Overload – Sensory overload is when an autistic person’s senses get overwhelmed. It can cause a lot of anxiety, or even a meltdown or shutdown. It is important to remember that when this is happening, your autistic child is not just overreacting to sensory stimuli that are no big deal. For your child, their brain actually perceives the stimuli differently, and they even perceive them as painful.

Stimming - Stimming refers to repetitive movements and can include many different types of stims. Stimming is important because it helps autistic people balance out their senses, show how they feel, and focus. Even non-autistic people stim sometimes. It is important not to force an autistic person to stop stimming!

Autistic people often have some traits that have to do with movement or motoric differences. For some autistic people, their motor differences may be very mild, but other autistic people may have big differences.

Gross motor skills – Autistic people may have differences in the big movements they make. This can be evident when we observe autistic people walking, as they may have an atypical gait.

Fine motor skills – Fine motor skills are the smaller movements that people make. Differences in fine motor skills can be evident in autistic people’s handwriting skills.

Proprioception – Our proprioceptive sense is one of our sensory systems, which allows us to know where our body is in space. Autistic people have differences in sensory systems, and differences in proprioception can lead to poor hand eye coordination or clumsy movements.

Posture – A lot of autistic people hold their bodies in ways that are different than how typical people do. They may appear to slouch, or sit differently in chairs.

Body Control – Some autistic people may have dyspraxia or apraxia, which can cause them to have difficulty controlling their body. This can also impact an individual’s speech. Speaking takes very coordinated motor movements. Due to motor differences in autistic individuals, some people may be non-speaking, and be better able to communicate using alternative methods.